I don’t write this to gain sympathy, or to have anyone express any sort of support. I know I have support from my family, and my dear friends. I’m writing this because I need others to know that they aren’t alone in their feelings.
It’s been a rough few years. I have always felt like an outsider in my home country, because I’ve always been subjected to micro-aggressions. I’ve always been questioned about “where I’m from” and I’ve always had my differences pointed out.
On a few occasions I’ve had law enforcement follow me around, and intimidate me, for the crime of existing in a space where “I didn’t belong”.
That’s the same story for many of us, who can’t hide our heritage because of the shape of our facial features, or the color of our skin. It’s daily life, and it’s part of our experience.
Lately, the small steps forward that have occurred in my lifetime have seemed to recede away, like the tide pulling away from the shoreline before a tsunami. There is an ocean of hate out there, it is illogical, and it feels immovable sometimes. Many of us feel the danger, the energy sparking, seeking to unleash the fury of this ocean on us all. The hate won’t just wash away people of color, or the LGBTQ community, or members of a faith outside of evangelical Christians. It will come crashing down on all of us.
Those of us that have lived with microaggressions all of our lives can see this, feel it, and it has led to much anxiety and uncertainty.
Many of you remain blissfully unaware of what is coming. If we don’t all realize what is to come, we’ll be ill prepared to confront it. Now is the time for neighbors and allies to wake up and help us brace for what is to come.
So I feel frustration. I feel the anxiety and the fear of the coming tsunami. I fear for my family and loved ones. I’ve always been a person that seeks to protect and defend others, and right now I feel powerless to stop what’s already occurring. I scream into the void, and on the streets, hoping that people will notice. But secretly I just want to gather those I love, and to run and hide them away, someplace safe.
So I sit here daily. Conflicted about what the right course of action is, and frustrated by the inaction of others. This is affecting my relationships with others, it’s affecting my ability to face the coming tide. And I know I’m not alone. Some of the fiercest warriors I know are also suffering. We hope that the second wave of support will come, but we fear it’ll be too late.
So fellow warriors, and fellow citizens, you aren’t alone. Not in our fear, anxiety, and uncertainty. The question remains, will we be alone against the tsunami that is coming? Will others help us to prepare?
I hope we won’t be alone. I hope we’ll find new allies. Most of all, I hope we will prevail.
